these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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