I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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