im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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