Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
