Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
