just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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