last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize