If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
