yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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