You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
