we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
