I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
