So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
