Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
