Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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