Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
