I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
