she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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