Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
