even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
