he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
