end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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