I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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