Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
