i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize