Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
