it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
