anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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