dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
