happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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