grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Watching her eat just hurts me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize