We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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