Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
