hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
