This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
