I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wish my penis had a tongue
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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