i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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