the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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