I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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