My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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