We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
