The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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