I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
