Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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