Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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