she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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