why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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