Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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