it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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