I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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