I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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