you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My breasts were aching with rage.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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