Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
