I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
