Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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