I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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