Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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