Porn is love you can see.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
