I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
