I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
