What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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