we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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