Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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