I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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