Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize