need another drink. this is the easiest way
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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