Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
