I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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