yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
