State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
