Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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