The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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