Nicole vs. Life
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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