I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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